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What Should I Do If My Spouse Files For Divorce Unexpectedly?

It can feel like a gut punch when your spouse files for divorce unexpectedly, especially when you thought that there was going to be an attempt to work things out. Unfortunately, you cannot just ignore the divorce papers and hope that the problem will go away. You need to respond, and you should really have the assistance of our Morris County, NJ divorce lawyers when you do.

How Should I Respond When My Spouse Files For Divorce Unexpectedly?

The first step should be talking to a lawyer. An attorney can help you respond when your spouse files for divorce unexpectedly and let you know what should be done next. Your spouse is “ahead” of you in this process, so you need to catch up and be prepared.

You should also make sure that you have copies of relevant financial documents, property deeds, and any other paperwork you might need during this process. Finally, make sure that you are focused on your own mental health too. Get counseling if needed and lean on your support network if you can.

What Should I Avoid Doing If My Spouse Files for Divorce Unexpectedly?

You should certainly avoid attacking your spouse if they have filed for divorce unexpectedly. If you are on good terms you may be able to talk some things out, but if your relationship has been fractured for a while contacting them could just do more harm than good.

It’s also important that you do not just ignore the divorce papers. It can be tough to deal with stressful matters like this and some people just shut down or try to pretend it’s not happening. You are going to regret this approach if you miss your court date and your spouse gets everything that they ask for.

Finally, you should avoid making any big decisions right now. Do not try to sell your home. Do not rush into another relationship. Focus on yourself and your children, if you have them.

How Should I React If I Have Children?

Having children can make this process even more stressful and difficult to respond to. If your spouse files for divorce unexpectedly, you need to be able to be there for your kids even as you are struggling with your own emotions. You should try to:

  • Maintain stability and your usual routines
  • Make sure that the kids know that you are there to listen to their concerns
  • Avoid venting at them or talking about your spouse in a negative way

The important thing is that you’re there for them and ready to address their needs. You cannot control everything about the divorce process, but you can make the well-being of your children a top priority.

Talk to a Divorce Attorney

If you want to learn more about how our lawyers can help you when your spouse files for divorce unexpectedly, contact Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark. We can schedule a consultation and tell you more about what an experienced, compassionate attorney can do to help you respond and stand up for your own interests.

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